You must be thinking I’m crazy, hanging onto the door of a bus with all others like a huge bunch of grapes, all ripe and succulent and ready to be pressed between divine fingertips of “Bosses” on very first day of the week, drenched in own and others’ sweat, yet carrying a hint of smile on my male “monalisa” face, which makes me different from you grumpy ones!
You must be wondering why this ugly face is all happy today! Is this his first day at job? No! Look at my office badge you idiot, “Senior Marketing Advisor”. I had to earn it after 8 long years of hard work and soft talks. What is it then?… Ooo, now I can read your mind, nope you don’t look like a joker either my friend. To me, Mondays are like Suraj Barjatiya movies before halftime, all happy happy!
Do you wanna know why? I’ll tell you anyway even if you don’t want as good things are always meant to be shared! Tell me, have you ever fallen in love? I mean real Love, not the ones in school and coaching classes where falling in love had same chances as getting into clogged traffic at Park Circus seven point crossing. If you say yes, it’s good, if you say no then it’s even better! Pat your back thinking that you still have one last good thing to try in your mundane life. Yeah, that’s it…..now you’re thinking in right direction! Yup, I’m in love. Alright…. I think its love…. and I’m hooked to a girl with braided hair who sits next to my cubicle.
A new bird, as they say…. it gives me Goosebumps whenever I think of her and my mouth goes dry as a bone whenever I try speaking to her. She knows that I’m her colleague who looks at her in a weird way, at least I think so.
I read that women have a seventh sense for detecting the invisible waves of love coming from their secret admirers (the sixth being the incredible power to win an argument!). I try to read her face, but solving a Fibonacci sequence is easier perhaps! I’m trying hard not to become the frog king (taking bath every day, arranging my hair often, hiding the thin grey lines on sides of my head and using a special formulated face wash that promises to make me 3 tones fairer in just 3 weeks!).
If you ever try to take her photo at office, you will certainly find me in almost all of them, lurking behind. Being omnipresent is a tough job you see. I get 5 days to stalk her, then I squirm in my bed and listen to all Arijit Singh’s “Udaaswala” songs for the next two days, and then again.. it’s Monday!…. This is a vicious cycle!
Now that you know so much about my indigenous plan of getting into that woman’s left side of the rib cage, take your eyes off me and have a glimpse of the second window seat, what do you see?….Red kurti, thin framed specs, tiny jhumkas and……. that braided hair!!! Ah… there she is, the queen of my universe, deeply engaged in the abyss of candy crush saga. Now you tell me…. is there a better place in the bus than this? You must be relieved now, realizing the mystery of my happy face. Now go to your job, work like a dog, and then at lunch time, think of me and my story, fantasizing yourself in my place, and my friend, just to assure you, I hate my job as much as you do, but then again, I’m in…!!
My personal justification received an unexpected counter attack from the fellow passenger who was stalking me for last few weeks without my knowledge. That’s obvious, because I was shamelessly focused on a single soul in the world at those moments.
Was the opponent successful in scoring a goal from that attack or was it my tight defense that blocked his every shot? Leaving it for you to decide based on what he has to say.
Hmmm, kiddo, thanks for your preaching. Now let me tell you something, you are too naive, don’t know how to hide your smile. I love Mondays too as I used to love “nolen gur er sondesh” (sweet made of fresh molasses) a decade ago, before this bloody diabetes took it all. That’s another story. Let me scare you a bit now.
You are a bachelor. A healthy man. All reasons are out there to tag you as “wealthy” too. Let’s make an obvious prediction that you are going to get that girl. What will be the plan for your weekend then? If you’re not a sex-maniac, then we can guess you’ll go out for a movie or shopping with her. Do I need any more reason to convince you that ‘Nothing in this world is more expensive than a woman who’s free for the weekend’?
Here is my advice. Weekend sucks when your girlfriend won’t. So, when life sucks, then just sit back and enjoy the head. Harsh?? You still can escape. But, if you stay, more bombs will explode.
Long long ago I used to live in a utopia like you, and then, BoooooooM!!
I GOT MARRIED!
“Ogo sunchhoooo, Tomar oi manager ke bole dio ei Shonibar barir kaj-e busy thakbe, kono call receive korte parbe na. Didibhai asche jamaibabu ke niye, sokal sokal mangsor dokane line debe, tarpor bajar korte jabe, didibhai mishti khete baddo valobase, south theke pantua niye asbe.” (Listen, my sister is coming with family, so ask your boss not to disturb you over the weekend; you need to stand in queue of meat shop early in the morning, then buy groceries, and then bring sweets from South Kolkata.)
Do you have an escape route? Just pray for a call from your boss, and then you can make it a “real urgent” one.
And, the obvious case, If you also happen to be a father of an infant, then my explanations are not mandatory to glorify the usefulness of Mondays (and other weekdays too). Some may differ, but finally the workplace is your main getaway point in such situations. Use it wisely though!
Do you still think you should go after that gal with braided hair? Ask your inner soul!….. Get off the bus and RUN!
P.S: Yes, the authors of this article are married and also have babies. But that doesn’t prove that the conclusion was intentional! Jo sonchna hai sonch lijiye (think whatever you can think of). At least we finally justified ourselves. 😛
And before we sign out, “Kya plan hai is weekend ka? Chal pitey hai”…….
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